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Back from Break? Maybe

I had to take a break from writing due to some, really, unforeseen circumstances. I’m not entirely sure I’m back for good, but the good news is… I’m back for now.

 

Recently, an old friend of mine contacted me to catch up. He and I used to be quite close, but to be honest, we drifted apart. I ended up cutting communications in the end due to the fact I Felt as if I was being brought down instead of brought up when I talked to him. This wasn’t necessarily his fault. It was a personality difference. I’m not one to go out and change the world with grand gestures, and he is. He viewed my life as boring, and in the way he spoke to me, not good enough. I broke things off, and we went our separate ways until the other night.

 

He informed me that he read my “boring blog” and he kept up with me as best he could and he didn’t understand how my life was doing so much better without him. I didn’t want to say, it isn’t because you’re not in my life now. It’s because you have been in my life.

 

My friends have taught me a great many things. The friendships I’ve had that have broken up and gone their own way have taught me just as much (if not more), than friendships that I still keep. Through my friends I’ve learned that Facebook is evil, and we shouldn’t depend on it. I’ve learned that if you constantly view your life as what you should be doing to make it better, you forget to enjoy what’s actually good right now. I’ve learned that I’m not very good at forgiveness, but I need to get better (and I’m trying).

 

The list is exponential, it’s a shame to think that when these people come and go from our lives that they don’t make some change, some difference. Looking back, it’s good to see that they have.

The Adoption

I was adopted.

I don’t mean I was left at an orphanage, or that my mother isn’t my biological mother. But I was adopted.There was a time in which I had to learn a new name, and signature well before adulthood. Well before the time a woman should ever have to think about changing her name. Shortly after learning how to sign my name in cursive, I had to learn to sign it again, with new letters, new strokes.

You see, I was adopted because my father didn’t want me. The picture perfect father and daughter would never come back, and I had a choice. I could choose to stay with my signature, memories, and a faded picture or I could choose a new life.Image

I was young. Too young really for such a choice. The courts felt, legally, that I had a right to a voice, but really I was young and angry. My voice was impetuous and likely a bit too hurt to make an important decision like this.

But I did. The courts agreed with my choice, and the papers were signed. You see, because of state law, my birth certificate was changed and my biological father was no more. He never was. It was like he never existed in my life. The memories of nightly stories, the Dumbo Ride,  and the Golden Gate Bridge were all I would have. Because he would not be my father in any way shape or form.

In 2001, when my biological grandfather called me to tell me my biological father had died, he reminded me that I never existed to my father. I was not mentioned in the obituary, and I wasn’t told soon enough to get to the funeral. It was a reminder that this adoption, this thing that happened when I was a child was permanent. It would stick with me forever, and he would never again exist in my life.

The man who gave me up was selfish. He chose a life without his only daughter, and in a way I chose a life without him.

The Dark Times

So, my town got hit with a big storm.

It wasn’t like the Derecho of June that we didn’t know was coming.. We knew this storm was coming, and most people who have lived through snow knew it would be bad. We’d had multiple days of rain beforehand which meant drenched soil, and tree limbs prior to a big heavy wet snow.

 

So when the snow started falling, it was pretty. I mean really pretty. BIG juicy wet flakes. It coated the ground quickly. It was beautiful. I was so excited for a big snow I was playing outside, taking pictures. I’m prepared for a power outage, so I wasn’t overly concerned about the whole thing.

 

I went on my deck for awhile to watch the snow fall, when I heard moaning and groaning from the tree next to my house. A limb bent, touched the power lines, and sparks started flying. Then it started glowing.. Then… BOOM. It exploded. Lights went dark throughout the neighborhood.

 

The tree kept burning, I called 911, the said they’d get to us when they got to us (this was 6:09pm). I evacuated my house and went to the neighbors with my cat in case it got worse. That’s when I had a panic attack and I couldn’t stop shaking. 

 

The tree burned itself out, I calmed down, an hour or so later I went back home with my cat, lit some candles and settled in. The fire department never came. It wasn’t until around 9:35pm that I got a text message from neighbors that they stopped by there to see if *I* was OK. 

 

Today, the power is back on. It took less than 24 hours for AEP to get the power restored.  A cheer went up around the neighborhood when they were working on the lines. I had to clean out my freezer, again. It was my second time in six months throwing out everything in my freezer. 

 

The good news? I’m healthy, I have power, my friends are healthy and all is well. 

 

The bad news? I’m pissed with the fire department.

I’m a disappointment

nerds at play  
fwb “paraplegic” dating  
i am not a nice person  
adayinthelifeof okcupid  
its all about expressing yourself botox advertisement  
full body skin exam  
day in the life of a dermatologist  
relax padawan  
a day in the life of meg  

These are the terms people have used to find my blog through the Google Machine in the past 3 months … I can’t help but think I’ve really disappointed a few folks.

 

 

The drama of the couch

When I moved into my current place, it came with a sofa. This thing is ancient, green, leather, and all out horrific. It’s like someone from the 70s designed something with a teenager from the early 80s. But it was comfortable originally. After many years of use, and abuse, the legs have come off – quite literally. Not to mention I’ve gotten tired of the color.

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I decided to treat myself, and I went couch shopping! After much deliberation I found a good couch at a decent price, I measured it, and it was smaller than standard doors. Perfect. It would get in my place. It would be fine.

I craigslisted my old couch (free). And went to pick up the new one. HURRAY! We get it home, and that’s when trouble strikes.

It won’t go in the front door. Or the back door.

Or any window.

My house has smaller than standard doors.

Soooo anyone need a sofa?!

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Right now, as the sofa will not fit in any of my house’s doors, it’s sat on my deck, under a tarp protected against the elements. I’ve put it on Craigslist. My only hope is to sell my new sofa, and to buy a new-new sofa. Right now, I’m using pillows for seats in my living room.

It’s been a learning experience. Mostly: never let me buy furniture.

Remember this guy??

Another Christmas post…

 

Who remembers this guy? Anyone? Anyone?
Well. He’s back.

 

He messaged me today with this gem:

How’s it going tonight? At the risk of me looking like a total goober I must say you’re radiant.

So why hasn’t some lucky guy swept you off your feet yet?

At least he’s changed his initial message, but seriously? Does he think 3rd time is a charm?

 

This is what he looks like:

And so this is Christmas

Today is Christmas Eve – which is obvious by the fact the date is December 24th. Outside, the weather is cold, rainy, and just about miserable. Inside, I’ve got the fire roaring, a mug of coffee in one hand, and my laptop humming with songs of cheer (OK, so it’s K-Pop and not really Christmas music, but you know. I’m almost there). To be honest, this is my kind of day.

 

I just wanted to take a quick minute out of my not busy day to say, Merry Christmas. I hope you all spend the day with your loved ones.  Eat a lot today and tomorrow, and be merry. We only live one life, and it’s meant to be happy.